It’s now easier than ever to meet potential romantic partners. They are literally just one click of a button away. So you would think that people would be coupling up left, right and centre. But that’s not the case. Somehow dating has become so much harder. And the general consensus amongst by single friends is that dating in 2018 downright sucks!
I, like many of my single friends, have now decided to take a break from dating. The swipe Apps have been deleted, and I feel much happier. But as more and more of my peers swear off dating for the foreseeable future, I can’t help but wonder what exactly got us into this state to begin with…
The petty, judgemental side of my brain would like to place all of the blame on straight men. However, I know that they can’t realistically be the sole culprit, because all of my uncoupled friends have the same dating woes – whether they’re male, female, straight or gay.
So what’s going on? I asked three millennials why dating sucks, and here’s what they had to say…
“There are many variables to dating in 2018. For a 29-year-old gay man not wanting to, in the words of his favourite singleton, Bridget Jones, die alone and be eaten by Alsatians, I have embraced Apps.”
“Apps put the entire single, gay male population in London quite literally at our fingertips so finding the David Burkta to my Neil Patrick Harris should technically be a doddle. Alas not thus far. But why?!”
“With this increased choice we have become more particular about our potential partners, subconsciously placing precedence on physical appearance (too short, too tall, I want someone with blue eyes and on it goes). We have been in pursuit of absolute perfection (swipe, swipe, swipe!). As a seasoned swiper I can confirm this is a false economy. And now I (at least try to) look beyond the uni-brows and questionable haircuts. Instead I seek out bio’s written with sharp wit, suggestions of a good heart and those with similar interests.”
“Personally, I don’t think the vast amount of choice that Apps present is the real issue. There are more humans than online-dating-humans, and that never felt overwhelming pre-Tinder. Dating as it is is already weird, online dating just makes the experience… even weirder.”
“I’m pretty sure that anyone who’s ever online dated has done it while not being in the mood. Whether you were swiping, chatting, or cancelling plans, we’ve all done it mindlessly, as some kind of second nature thumb activity. This always catches up with you, as you go through the initial ice-breaking stage with countless people you’ve preempted you don’t care about. And you don’t. And you sweat at answering the next ‘what do you do’ because it’s the 73rd time you’ve been asked this week, but the alternative is skipping the admin Q&A and potentially realising a few weeks into seeing someone that you don’t know what they do 9-5. It’s a lose-lose situation with the opening small talk!”
“Also, making decisions about your life sucks. So I just procrastinate. Sometimes I don’t even feel qualified to choose what to have for dinner – let alone decide who’s got more potential as a romantic partner. It’s overwhelming.”
“In previous generations there were defined gender roles when it came to dating, relationships and family structures. But what exists in 2018 much more fluid.”
“Previously, men knew exactly what women expected from them. But now these expectations vary from person to person. What is right with one woman isn’t right with another, and a lot of men are now afraid of unintentionally saying or doing the wrong thing.”
“Whilst one woman may prescribe to the view that you should approach her at the bar and offer to buy her a drink, another will find this disrespectful. And where some women believe the man should pay for drinks and dinner on a date, others would see this as backwards and a slap in the face to their self worth.”
“The lack of definition has made dating more difficult. And for some men this has translated into not trying at all, because they’re so wary about how their attempts might be perceived.”
What’s your take on this? Why do you think dating in 2018 sucks? Leave a comment below to have your say…
*All names have been changed