The One Dating Truth to Always Remember

Dating Advice Mindy Kaling Why Not Me

Here’s a true story… Last year I met a guy who was 90% my type (a miracle in itself, because I have a very bizarre list of requirements). We began dating, and for a while everything was great. Then one day, out of nowhere, he stopped returning my texts. I had officially been ghosted.

It took a while for me to accept that this was the reality of the situation, and my initial response was, “Sh*t! He must have died!” This is not because I think so highly of myself that I can’t handle rejection, but simply because I always thought I was savvy enough to spot the douchebags a mile off.

Sadly, however, my story is in no way unique, and most of my girlfriends have much more depressing tales to tell. But it definitely felt like ghosting and on/off/on/off-again communication reached a new level of misery in 2015. So it’s a confusing time to be single.

And, as with most things, the best advice smacks you right in the face when you’re least expecting it. In this instance, I found clarity in Mindy Kaling’s latest book, Why Not Me?. In the chapter ‘One of the President’s Men’, in which she dissects her on/off romance with a White House staffer, she writes:

“… But I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you they always find a way. Always.”

Essentially it’s just an update on the Miranda Hobbs “He’s just not that into you” train of thought. Only Mindy’s wording is much friendlier. So if you have the misfortune of facing a romantic dilemma in 2016 remember Mindy’s simple dating truth, and hopefully you’ll save yourself a lot of anguish.


Mindy Kaling Why Not Me


What’s the best piece of dating advice you’ve ever been given, or have ever shared with a friend?

P.S. How to make your online dating profile stand out.

{Image via J.Crew}

  • remember that episode where Miranda thought she got stood up and he actually died? lol! that’s what i first thought of when I read the bit about you thinking he was dead. I read this blog post with mindy’s new book by my side and eagerly await that chapter 🙂 I sometimes think to myself “oh should i be texting so much, i’m not gonna come across very cool here” and then think oh whatever, this is me and if it scares him off then i’ll live with that. they always do get scared off!

    • cocos_tea_party

      Haha! YES. I was thinking of that episode too. (I can confirm he is alive though).

      And I read “The New Rules” dating book as a joke last year and it has some good tips about the whole not texting too much issue. But I also agree, you should always be yourself. I’ve actually found that on Tinder guys seem to message back so quickly, and I’m always the one playing it cool, like “oh, I’ll reply to that in an hour” haha. So who even knows where things stand any more?

  • After the sobering realisation that at the grand old age of 32, if I haven’t met someone yet, I need to do something a bit more pro-active, I joined match.com
    Scary, scary thing- but I feel quietly optimistic…

    • cocos_tea_party

      That’s so exciting Abby! How are you getting on so far? I’m totally into online dating and have met lots of great guys on Tinder (which isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be). None of them have been Mr Right, but I feel with each date you get closer to finding the person perfect for you, so it’s good to be proactive!

      • Just looking so far, but am feeling more positive just having put myself out there if that makes sense?
        Funnily enough, my friend is on Take Me Out on Saturday- could always keep that as a standby…!