How I’m Changing My Approach to Dating

Healthy Dating Rules 2018

Just before Christmas I posted a little rant about men on Instagram Stories. After another full year of dating, by December I’d simply had enough of men and all of their bulls**t. My single girlfriends were all reporting back with crummy experiences too, so I came to the conclusion that straight, single men need to be cancelled in 2018.

And it turns out many of you agree with that sentiment. After that Instagram Story went live I received a wave of messages from followers reporting the same dating disappointments. But, the thing is, whilst we can all agree that straight, single men largely suck, we can’t force them to change their behaviour.

The only thing we can do is change our approach to dating.

So, over the New Year I thought long and hard about my recent dating experiences. I focused on the lessons I’ve learnt over the years, and wrote myself a list of dating rules to stick to in 2018. Here they are…

New Dating Rules 2018


My Dating Rules for 2018

1. Put your friendships at the top of your priority list. Any extra time can be dedicated to dating. Ovaries before brovaries, and all that jazz!
2. Step back. Take a pause. Be patient. Don’t be always the one doing the chase. Let them come to you.
3. Become less reliant on apps. Open yourself up to the possibility of meeting people in real life.
4. Think quality over quantity. Only go on dates if you genuinely want to know more about that person.
5. Let your friends know you’re open to being set up. Once they have a clear idea of what you’re looking for they might realise they know someone perfect for you.
6. Stop making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour. If you’re not being treated the way you would treat others step away immediately.
7. Only invest your time in people who make you smile.

I’m hoping that by following these principles I’ll have much better dating experiences in 2018. Let me know if you plan to follow this set of rules too, and whether you’ll be adding any other points to the list…

What are your dating rules for 2018? Will you be actioning any of the points on my list? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts…

I’m Wearing: Beret and jacket by Monsoon. The jacket is now sold out online, but this similar style is on sale.

Photos by Debs Stubbington

  • Now it’s been a while since I was single last time (7 years as of last week… wow), but from what I still remember, the number one problem of not dating for a while is growing desperation. I am, of course, not calling anyone desperate – but it is inevitable that after a while of wanting something, all of us, and I am no exception, grow a little bit more determined to settle. And once we find ourselves on the track of excusing stuff we don’t like for the sake of just being with someone (see point 6), it is very hard to get off it!

  • fizza

    Ovaries before brovaries, HELL YES! This post proves you’re much more hopeful than me but I love you for it x

  • “Stop making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour. If you’re not being treated the way you would treat others step away immediately.”

    THIS! ^^^

    I’ve been in a relationship for a while now, but before that I would ALWAYS make excuses for shitty behaviour. Looking back on it now – I allowed so much of it!

    There’s power in not settling for any less than you deserve and I know that the perf guy will come into your life when it’s meant to be. After all – if you were locked down and outta the game you wouldn’t be able to give other single girls such fab advice. xo

  • Since my last birthday in November I’ve been seriously trying to meet someone, and it’s largely been depressing and disheartening but I’m persevering. Good luck, Ella.